The Old Times: PIGMY WORSTS GIANT IN FIGHT

 



This article is about check fraud from The National Bank of Mouth. When you write a check from that bank, you sure as hell better make sure your ass can cash it. Mean Joe Greening learned a valuable lesson in an article from February of 1909 from The Detroit Times. 

PIGMY WORSTS GIANT IN FIGHT

Joseph Greening, No. 94 Mott-ave., as he gave his address to the police, and Arthur Morris, a waiter, rooming at No. 162 Congress-st, east, were principals in a bloody "scrap" in Smith's restaurant at No. 111 Bates-st., about 1:20 o'clock, Tuesday morning. Greening is a big strapping fellow and Morris a frail young chap in comparison, but when it was all over, the giant went to St. Mary's hospital for repairs while the pigmy was locked up in central station on a charge of assault with intent to do great bodily harm. Morris was released later, however, when word came from the hospital that Greening's injuries were not serious, and it is doubtful whether any prosecution will follow. The police, after investigating the affair, were inclined to take Morris' part.

Greening, it is said, had been drinking when he entered the restaurant and insisted on holding the door open. The waiter ordered him to close it and he refused. When Morris himself attempted to close the door, Greening, it is alleged, attacked him and the fight was on. In the struggle Greening received an ugly cut over the left eye from a cup in Morris' hands. He also received a prize "shiner" and lost three teeth.

Close the god damn door, Joe. Maybe next time your drunk ass is looking to start a fight, you will think again before you get clapped in the face with a cup by a gentleman half your size. It's early morning on a Tuesday and you're half-crocked looking to fight what the newspaper calls a "pigmy" and "frail young chap". It's like the author was out to offend all parties involved. I also love that in 1909, this is the news that people are into. It's a like watching a YouTube street fight video today.


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